Let me start this off with a disclaimer--this isn't going to be a cute outfit post. When I started Luna Elise, I wanted it to be a fashion blog, but I also wanted it to be something more. I feel like I haven't really explored the "something more" side of things enough. I've been more focused on gaining followers by posting outfit pictures. While I am still going to be doing that (on a weekly basis as much as possible), I have been blogging for over six months now and I am finally settled into the routine and I want to try to get more than one post up per week. Devoting one post a week as a sort of journal is both helpful to me to just freestyle write and also will help you feel like this blog is more than just a bunch of commercialized images.
If I had to describe the way I live in one word, I would say passionately. Passion moves my mind and body, makes me see the world with such depth that I'm not sure everyone else sees it with. I love with all my heart and constantly explore the fascinations of the world both physically and in the depths of the human mind. However, passion is sometimes a misunderstood word. When we think passion we see red roses, embraces in the rain and maybe a deep devotion to a craft. What we don't see is the flip side of the coin. Passion doesn't mean living life behind permanent rose-colored lenses. Feeling everything so deeply means feeling the depths of sadness at an intensity that is overwhelming. For example, when I fall in love I am floating and lost in bliss one day and then the next I am cut with a knife considering (for no logical reason) how much it will hurt if I someday lose this person.
One of the redeeming things about being dually passionate like this is that while you can be crushed or even moved to tears over the painful side of passion, you also have the extreme highs--the "romantic" mindset that is traditionally considered. When I do put on the rose tinted glasses, they are VERY heavily tinted and everything is so beautiful. Somedays colors seem brighter, events woven more intricately, falling in love an all-consuming high. Being in love with a passionate mind truly fills up empty spaces. I thrive on relationships (let's not get this confused with NEED them to survive) and when I love someone that love is not fleeting--it sinks its roots in hard and deep. This has one hundred percent led me to stick in the wrong relationships for too long--but that's a topic for another blog post.
Sometimes passionate dreamers like myself can be perceived as living with their heads in the sand. We "aren't realistic," "need to get our shit together." What people don't realize is that our heads aren't in the sand, they are in the clouds most of the time. It can get exhausting living in the passionate mind. Trust me. I know I will never be a power career chick. I'm an artist. My mind is always in a million different places. I'm working on too many projects right now, and when I'm not actively working on them, I'm thinking about them.
One of the biggest dangers of living passionately is being perpetually lonely. This may seem counterintuitive, especially if you think of passion simply in the one-dimensional romantic sense. However, when there is SO much going on in your mind and you are feeling things on a level many people can't even begin to fathom, you are naturally misunderstood. For the longest time, I felt superior to people because of the way I thought, but as the years went by this changed to loneliness. It is a constant battle I fight to let those I am close to into my mind. It is scary and unnatural to let some of these thoughts out; I never know whether they will be met with rejection, scorn or even anger. The biggest first step to combatting any of these feelings--superiority, loneliness, anger--is awareness. Know who YOU are and be confident in it. Never expect everyone else to be the same as you, but don't let that be your downfall.
For all of you out there who feel the same as I do--and I KNOW there are more of you--challenge yourself to take your passionate mind and let it inspire you rather than bring you down. Believing in yourself is easier said than done sometimes, but believe in the beauty of your passionate mind. I absolutely believe that the most beautiful works of art in this world come from people like us. When the little voice in the back of your mind says, "That's absolute crap. I SUCK." Don't listen to it, push forward, count to 100 in German (if you're me), and forge on. The world deserves the beauty of passionate minds.
*None of the photos used in this post are my own and I claim no rights or ownership to them.