My favorite thing about shooting with Tori of TC Photography is that the images she captures are always packed with emotion. You just can't help but feel like there's a story behind them. These images are my favorite from our shoot because I feel like they perfectly convey my spirit. So today, instead of writing in-depth about why I picked this outfit, I'll let the images do the talking and tell you what they say to me.
First and foremost, these shots show freedom. Over the past two years I have broken free from so many demons that haunted me and people who were holding me down (one of these people being myself). Last summer, I was at rock bottom. Between incredibly poor relationships and a pretty battered sense of self-esteem, I found myself clinically depressed. When I look back to that point, it's pretty amazing how far I came, and how strong I was even at my worst.
I may have been drinking a few glasses of wine too many by myself at night and teetering on the edge of tears some days, but I was also writing drafts of my first two novels. I was also pushing myself to spend time with friends and make memories. I was traveling on my own--to Vegas, Austin and a road trip to California--which I had never done before. When I look back on it now, this period of my life was somewhat like going on a long run. You slog through it, at times you want to give up, it hurts, but when it's over you feel amazing and strong.
Now I feel qualified to say I am resilient, and being single for practically a whole year was a large part of that. Before, I was always bouncing from one (usually terrible) relationship to the next--I didn't feel like I could find happiness alone. To everyone reading this who is single and insecure about it: this is your time to grow. Sometimes growing has pains.
It's funny how life works. I heard over and over that you will meet the right person for you when you've reached a good place in your life. I never believed it. But really, it is true. Last fall, after digging my way out of the depression of the summer and coming to terms with the realization of my newfound strength, I saw my romantic lens on life take a different focus. Instead of desperately swiping through Tinder, why not consider the guy who always makes me laugh and who I absurdly miss hanging out with even though we haven't seen each other in months? Enter Johnny--and enter him at a time when I was at a very good place in life.
Hopefully you can take something from my ramblings--a little hope, a little peace, and I definitely encourage you to be free and have fun with your life. Enjoy the beauty and savor all the moments because I promise you, life is taking you down the path to someplace/someone/something that makes you whole. :)
Photography: Tori Swafford, TC Photography
Location: My farm in Kansas--a place that makes me feel very free.
Dress: Banjara (ON SALE)
Jacket: Cabin + Cove
Shoes: Arturo Chiang (Old. Similar style linked below)